As parents, you want what is best for your child no matter what. But as adults who just went through a rough divorce, you will likely find it hard to work together with your co-parent as closely as you need to – initially, at least.
This transition period is crucial for many families, and unfortunately, many parents feel rushed into reconciliation too soon. This can actually do more harm than good in the long run, so you may want to consider parallel parenting first.
Avoiding the trauma of post-divorce arguments
Psychology Today takes a look at a unique parenting option called parallel parenting. It is a temporary measure meant to bridge the gap between divorce and life after the split. In this tender time, many co-parents force themselves to interact in uncomfortable ways, which can lead to even more arguments and disputes.
Many adults who experienced parental divorce as children state that the most traumatic thing was witnessing the arguments between their parents. It is wise to do whatever you can to try and avoid having these arguments at all, but especially in front of your children.
Controlling your contact
Parallel parenting helps with this by eliminating face-to-face contact and conversation. You may only communicate through writing, such as emails, text and written letters. You can even avoid conversation by simply recording pertinent information in a notebook regarding visitations and your child’s health, schooling and so on.
But as mentioned, this measure is temporary. It serves as a bridge through a difficult time in your life until you can reach a point where more cooperative forms of co-parenting seem feasible to you.